I Don’t Know Where I’m Going, But I’m Going Anyway

I Don’t Know Where I’m Going, But I’m Going Anyway

Wrestling With Perfectionism

For years, I’ve struggled with self-doubt and perfectionism, to the point where even starting this blog feels like an act of rebellion. Do I have a clear direction? No. No, I do not. But I’m hoping this will create something new. What that is, I don’t know yet. With time, I hope to find more clarity and, more importantly, grace in the process.

I’ve always planned my life, especially after having children. But there comes a point when you can over-plan and over-consume information to the point of paralysis. That’s when anxiety creeps in and you lose the will to move.

A single step becomes monumental and exhausting. No movement occurs. Like a boat endlessly spinning in circles on a lake. Perfectionism took up semi-permanent residence in my head.

A Quiet Rebellion

So, how do I change these feelings?

By doing something different.

In the past, I wouldn’t have started anything without knowing exactly where it would lead. But now? I’m creating without having all the answers.

Still, I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. The emotions. The self-doubt. The voice of perfectionism is constantly whispering:

“You have to have it all figured out before sharing it.” “You need the right qualifications to inform or inspire others.”

The last few years in the online space—trying to build a business and “get it right”—have expanded my knowledge. That said, they’ve also devastated my self-esteem and self-worth.

Letting Go of the Noise

So, at the beginning of this year, I made a decision: to let go of social media and everything that came with it.

How people view me.
The expectations I think others have of me.
The opinions of virtual strangers.

I let go of the mask I’d been wearing—the one that covered up what’s deep inside. The part of myself I haven’t yet found.

Now, I feel like an onion. I’m peeling back each layer to see what’s underneath. I have no clue what I’ll find—but it’s an adventure I’m willing to take.

Peeling Back the Layers

The silence I’ve created by disengaging from the busyness and noise has left me alone with my own thoughts. Wondering, circling, questioning.

But instead of fighting it, I’m learning to surrender.

Letting go of the “shoulds.”
Letting go of the expectations.
Letting go of who I thought I had to be.

Am I scared? Definitely.
Off-kilter? Absolutely.
Do I need to create a new foundation? I really do.

Walking Into the Unknown

So, I’m stepping onto a completely unknown path.
LOL—I feel like Elsa in “Into the Unknown.”
Let’s hope this adventure ends like hers—with magic, growth, and a little singing.

Are you also figuring things out as you go? Let’s talk about it.

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